Out of the mouth of Little old Ladies Babes

The four older boys are at Scout camp all week so I only the five younger with me when I went to the store.

The two cutest little old ladies came up to us and were looking at the kids.

When you are reading this conversation it helps if you think the words for the Little Old Ladies in a cute little old lady voice. It makes it more realistic. And, if you are looking for realism, please think my words in a beautiful, sexy va-voom voice. ahem...

Little Old Lady 1: "Are all these kids yours?"

Me: "Yes, they are sure are."

LOL1: "You have five kids?"

Me: "Well, I actually have nine kids."

LOL1: (said with amazement) "You have nine kids?"

Me: (said with a smile) "Yep, I sure do."

LOL1: "Then why are you smiling?"

Me: **confused**

LOL1 turns to LOL2 and whispers (loudly enough for me to hear) "She's smiling because she's already gone over the edge."

LOL1: (turns back to me and pats me on the arm) "Well, that's nice dear."

Darn. And here I thought this whole time that I was doing a pretty good job of hiding my insanity.

Guess I'll have to try harder...

Family Swim

Joshua enjoying summer! What a fish!

Kinda weird picture that makes Timothy's head look like it is doing a floaty thing

Elizabeth

Matthew

Corey with Levi and Hannah

Corey is really good about taking the kids down to the local pool for Family Swim. Levi is definitely the most challenging because he goes all kamikaze in the water of the three younger ones. Corey said that he just had to keep a really close eye on him...all the time.

What? No pictures of me at the pool? That is because they don't make a full body swim suit that is not a wet suit and I am nice to the fellow pool goers and refrain from attempting to pour myself into my pre-baby #5...or was it #6? suit. I just can't myself from being nice all the time.

You're welcome.

Swimming Lessons

Hannah, Levi and Matthew all started swimming lessons last week. Every day they drive me insane asking if it's time to go yet they wait patiently until it's time to head down to the pool.

Matthew, being 5, is in an older class this year and has an instructor all to himself. He is LOVING it!!! He appears to be a fish like his older brothers and sister.

Hannah, being the prima-donna that she is, did not want to get her hair wet. She did, however, dip in a toe or two just to look fashionable. After all, it is all about looking good at the pool and not so much about the whole learning how to swim thing.

Levi, on the other hand, has no fear, whatsoever. Daily, he gives his poor instructor a good workout. The high school kid that is Levi's instructor is probably regretting his summer job choice. We do what we can to enlighten the teenagers on how hard parenting is. We are just good citizens like that.


Levi and Hannah in the 3 year old class

Who needs water? I just come to play with the new toys.


Levi, being shuttled back to the shallow end of the pool...again...

Matthew, aka Fish Boy

They are going for 3 different sessions. 1st session, 3rd session and the 5th session. I did it that way to give them a break in between who am I kidding, it is a break for me, it's all about me.

Happy Swimming!!!

Not Me Monday

It's Monday again and time for another round of confession Not Me Monday!

First let me tell you that I really am Wonderwoman. I fear nothing except sharks, snakes, bugs, dogs and really ugly shoes, am super strong and have cool little bracelets that deflect bullets. And don't even get me started on those amazing red boots...

So...

When out walking with my husband, it was not me that froze in fear when hearing a dog coming. Having a dog chase me when I was 8 years old would not scar me for life because that would show weakness and I am not weak.

I did not utter a naughty word and jump behind my husband, pinching his skin as I frantically grabbed his shirt to more effectively hold my human shield in place.

Because I am uber brave, it was not me that peeked out from behind my husband to watch the dog waddle run over to us.

I certainly wouldn't have felt the least bit embarrassed to find out that the very old, very fat dog was just nicely checking to see if we had something for him to eat. I certainly can tell the difference between an attack dog and an old grey muzzled fat one.

ahem...

I am a wonderful driver. I scoff at the obvious low IQ that other drivers flaunt on a daily basis. I got 100% on my drivers test and drive with perfection everyday.

So...

It was not me that failed to notice that the garage door was not fully up before putting the van into reverse. My hearing is very good although I do have mom hearing that tunes out annoying child noises in order to preserve what is left of my sanity and I would have heard that the door was still on it's upward climb.

Because I pay the utmost attention to what I am doing while driving I would have immediately stepped on the brakes. I would not have backed the van up into the garage door.

Upon hearing the collision of van vs. garage door I would not have wondered what the heck was going on. Theories of possible reasons for the crash that did not include me at fault would not have quickly ran through my head either.

Upon arriving home, it was not me that didn't pull the great white beast van far enough into the driveway before closing the electric gate. Just because my van is 100 feet long does not excuse me from knowing where the back of it is.

It would not have been my eyes that widened in shock upon hearing the gate spank crash into the back of the van. I certainly pay better attention that that.

When the kids asked "what was that" I also wouldn't have I lied...I lied, it was a big fat lie told a small fib and said "What are you talking about? I didn't hear anything."

And in the spirit of "Not Me Monday" it's going to be "not you" that better not tell my "not husband" about the van incident(s).

Because, if you do, like Hannah says...yes, zip it, I know I'm copying a three year old here

"You're not my buddy anymore!"

ahem...

Bow Giveaway!

Because the kids are totally working me over already and summer only just started I wanted to do something fun, I made some more little girl hairbows!

My friend, Rachel, so graciously, is posting the giveaway on her blog how lazy am I to dump that on her? for me so click here to go and enter!!!

Don't have a little girl? No prob! I'll bet you can find someone to use them as bargaining or bribery give them to!

Remember, you need to head over to Rachel's blog to enter (details are over there).

Happy start of summer!!!

Instructions for creating a she-beast

Don't ever make her walk anwhere...
Hold her whenever she wants...

Give her lots of kisses...

and snuggles.

Give in to this face...

and this face...

Ok, give in to any face...

Laugh when she tells you no...

But don't ever tell her no...

Because telling her no would be wrong...

Let her eat your food just because she wants to...

Don't make her stay in bed...

Even if she's tired...

Give her whatever she wants...

Whenever she wants...

All the time...

legal disclaimer: if you follow these instructions, are displeased with the outcome and decide to seek legal retribution please be advised that I am fully prepared to take my children some of my children a couple of my children can I at least take my shoe collection? myself out of the country to escape prosecution.

And yes, I realize that my daughter has a large bruise on her face. She fought the table, the table won and now the table is being used for firewood as punishment.

How you know that you have teenage boys...

On a bright note, I was able to clean the cupboard easier...