Why I love the UPS man

This my friends, is art. I call this masterpiece-

Box of Boots

And no, sorry, it is not for sale.

They aren't for sale but they were on sale and then there was free shipping if I spent $___ use your imagination here, can't put that in writing in case the husband sees

For some insane reason they had to send each pair in a separate box, which happened to arrive on separate days. The UPS man must know wonder if I have issues. After the first day when I was deliriously happy to see him when I greeted him with style, he wouldn't knock when leaving a box. Don't judge me. It's not like you've walked in my shoes Oh, come on, you know that was totally funny

Recently one of my former friends mentioned that I might have a shoe buying problem.

Huh?

Some words should not be used in the same sentence.

Halloween...overboard

Twilight...lame

In-laws...visit kidding...geez...

Shoe buying...problem

Lots of shoes...materialistic

Becky...hypocrite

Are you following along?

Then it was mentioned that I should sign up for a 12 step program.

If that means that I get to take 12 steps in a really cute pair of shoes then sign me up!