The Wildlife Refuge

Last Friday, I took the kids to local wildlife refuge. and no, I'm not referring to my backyard.

Corey was gone working, so I stupidly bravely loaded up all nine kids in the prison van big van and off we went. This was, of course, after sitting in the garage for 20 minutes, sending various kids back inside to use the bathroom and gearing myself up to leave which included deep breathing techniques and continuous chanting of "it's for the kids" over and over.

First, because I wanted to minimize the whining because I thought the kids would enjoy picking out their own snacks (within reason, of course) we stopped by the local grocery store and all went inside.

I don't often take all the kids anywhere out in public with me so it was quite a treat actually, I was taking paranoid headcounts the entire time while totally rocking the pied piper look.

After picking out ice cream, cookies, cake and gummy bears which put me in the position of having to tell them to get real, we decided on bananas, fish crackers, trail mix and apple juice boxes.

After we all wedged into one of the checkout lanes with our goodies, I paid and then we all filed out. Me, the mother duck, with all my cute little ducklings following behind. I was hoping that we could call that our "adventure" for the day but the kids actually still wanted to go to the refuge. Ahhh...well, a girl can dream, right?

Thankfully the drive was short because I forgot my "earplugs", er, Ipod and a DVD for the TV's because my natives became restless very quickly and Lily screamed the entire time she is in her car seat. And, I promise you, there is no volume of music that will tune her out I've tried, believe me Good times...good times...

Upon arrival if I heard "Are we almost there yet" one more time, I swear that I was going to pull the van over and... we all piled out and I started assigning buddies. No child left behind is my motto too. We have first hand experience...ahem...

Joseph decided that he wanted a workout and offered to carry Lily in the Bjorn, or as he referred to her "the weight vest".

Michael, who had been texting on his phone the entire trip up, was standing next to the van attached to his cell phone. sigh...

We put a cute little bear backpack on Levi with a leash attached because we are not stupid and assigned Joshua as his buddy.

Timothy walked with Matthew and Liz was with Hannah. All nice and tidy whitey, right?

Everything was good except there was a whiner amongst us. We were going too fast...Her feet hurt...She was tired...Why can't everyone wait up for her...

It was annoying.

Don't judge me, I'm totally out of shape...If you had birthed all those kids you'd be whining too...

ahem...

I discovered ok, some of it was reaffirmation some things about myself while I was out powering through enjoying the outdoors, at one with nature.

1. I don't like dirt. It's dirty.

2. I don't like bugs. And yes, I am capable of screaming loudly at the sight of a shadow of a teeny tiny bug a huge bug who is dive bombing my hair. Stupid bug.

3. I feel large amounts of anxiety when thinking about my kids getting poison oak. It's commonly referred to as kidsgettingposionoakobia. For real. It's in the medical dictionary next to uglyshoeobia. Go check it out if you don't believe me.

4. I don't like dirt. It makes my kids dirty. my list, my rules, I can use that reason twice if I want to, thankyouverymuch

5. I enjoyed spending the time with my kids so much that I am willing to overlook #1-4 except maybe #2...

What I really need to find is a place that I can take the kids for a nature hike in a bugless, dirt free environment where you can look at shoes.

Anyone know of such a place?

Anyone?...



Oh, and by the way...just in case you were wondering, we actually didn't forget anyone...this time...