Not Me Monday

Let me just start by pointing out how classy we are with the understanding that if I have to point it out, it might not be obvious and therefore might not be true.

We always finish projects that we start and never, ever leave things half finished.

Therefore it was not us that remodeled our house two years ago and then never put siding on. Haven't you ever heard that Tyvek is the new siding?

That would make us look like white trash and we would not do that to the neighbors.

Our kids wouldn't have other kids asking them at school "When are you going to finish your house?"

We wouldn't tell them that we are just planning on painting the Tyvek...just for fun. And because we enjoy seeing the confused look on their faces.

We most certainly would not joke about our white trash look by saying that we just really enjoy our membership in the white trash club and would miss their monthly publication The Butt Crack.

We are classy and classy people do not joke around like that.

As a result of siding not being on our house since the beginning of time a large hive of aggressive, mean yellow jackets would not have moved in.

We would not have heard them up in the ceiling of one of the spare bedrooms and wondered what was going on.

I definitely wouldn't have gone out on the roof to investigate because I am very smart and would not have messed with anything that had to do with bugs.

Getting stung multiple times through several layers of clothing would have been "what you get" when sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. This would have never happened to me.

We are avid "do it yourselfers" is that even a word? and would have never folded like a lawn chair bowed to pressure and called a professional. We are stubborn resourceful and do not need any help...ever.

Therefore, when the "bug guy" showed up, it would not have been because Corey had called him.

He would not have discovered the largest nest of yellow jackets "that he has ever seen".

He would not have had to cut a hole in the side of the house to remove them.

He would not have noticed that they had eaten away the sheet rock in the ceiling.

We would have not discovered that the only thing between us and thousands of angry, aggressive yellow jackets entering our house was a layer of paint. Gulp.

Yes, I am having nightmares now.

And, because we are so classy, we wouldn't have jumped all over a friend's suggestion that we capitalize on our new hole in the house and use it as a Halloween decoration.

We are working on getting siding...I promise...

Ahem...

And Happy Halloween!