Not Me Monday

I love chickens.

There I said it.

Out loud even.

I do not believe in going overboard and I live completely with everything in moderation. 

I am easily able to keep myself in check and don't ever have the urge to "overdo".

Obviously owning 31 chickens would be more then plenty and I wouldn't feel the need to bring more home.

Of course I oohhh and awwww over the brand new chicks.

They are adorable little balls of fluffy cuteness.

I certainly wouldn't scheme and plan in an attempt to bring them all home with me.

So...

You certainly wouldn't find me at the feed store, waiting impatiently for them to open on the day that their chicks arrived.

I wouldn't go in "just to look" and end up bringing home a dozen of the cutest little chickens that you ever did see.

It was "for the kids" after all.  What kind of a mother would I be if I never gave my kids the opportunity to own baby chicks?

Not that I did that, mind you.

When the chicken population got to be over 40, a normal person would not buy any more chickens.

So, being normal, I of course, would not have purchased anymore.

The following week, during a trip to a nearby town, I wouldn't have popped into a different farm and garden store to check out their chick sale.

I would have been aware of my limits.

Buy 2, get 1 free specials on chicks do not call out to me.

6 chicks would not have literally called my name, gotten down on their little yellow knees and begged me to take them home. just so you know...that is my story and I'm sticking to it

I would not have been afraid to tell my husband and I would not have smuggled them into the existing pen.

I wouldn't  have hoped that he would not notice the much smaller, totally noticeable additions.

When he immediately noticed I did not try to use the shoe trick and say "These old things?  I've had them forever!" 

That did not work, by the way.

Chicken jokes did not start after the smuggling incident.

"Do I need to call the chicken hoarder show?"

"Are you the chicken equivalent of the crazy cat lady?"

"Do they make a nicotine style patch for a chicken addiction?"

"Maybe you should look into a 12 step program."

Like I haven't heard all those before.

Geesh...

So...I definitely wouldn't have been cruising Craigslist for more chickens.

Because...really...I would know when enough is enough.

I wouldn't have seen the ad for chickens that were so cute that it ought to be illegal.

I wouldn't have made arrangements to go pick them up while my husband was gone

I wouldn't have smuggled them into the pen with the existing chicks...again...if at first you don't succeed, try, try again

I wouldn't have felt EXTREMELY guilty when he texted me a picture later that night of one of my new chicks...telling me that it looked like one of my chickens was molting...

I would have immediately folded like a lawn chair and confessed!

I wouldn't have let him believe that lie liar, liar, pants on fire

Sigh...

I, apparently, need to get a grip.

Excuse me while I go confess...