The Laundry, part deux

I've had some questions regarding my our laundry process so I thought I'd just clear it up. Because I really am a nice person and if I say that enough times it might become true.

I do not have the kids sort and fold their own laundry. We have tried it. It did not work. The end.

So, therefore, I wash/dry/fold or hang up all the clothes. The kids bring the laundry to the laundry room and sort it for me. They also put their own clothes away after they are done.

I do not check any pockets before washing the clothes. I just can't stand the thought of sticking my hands into the great unknown that is their pockets. There could be all manner of funk in there and I'm a wimp.

I will, however, test the weight of the item and gingerly give it a pat down, just to check.

This method does not come without risks. What can I say? Risk taker is my middle name. Or names. Whichever.

That being said, I will pass on a tip: No manner of pretreating, rewashing, crying, begging, pleading, swearing, witchcraft or voodoo magic will undo the path of destruction that a green crayon will pave in a load of whites.

Next topic. I'm trying to forget about the green crayon incident.

I hang up all the shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, suits, skirts and dresses. The things that go in the drawers are jeans, shorts, play shirts, socks and undies. I used to put all shirts folded up in their dressers, but now they are older their shirts are bigger and everything just won't fit now.

I am an iron-a-holic. I actually enjoy ironing. I'm weird, I know. I even feel compelled to iron my pillowcases and the top part of my top sheet that kinda does this strange curvy-over-thingy that bugs. I do not iron my husband's clothes. Right after we married, I ironed one of his shirts and he informed me that I did not do it right. hmph... Therefore, because I am capable of holding a grudge for 15 years I do not iron any of his clothes.

Socks are an interesting thing, don't ya think? How I can put two socks in the wash and have only one come out is one of the great mysteries of life. I think sometimes they slip into clothes during the wash cycle. One time Joseph was almost through his entire school day when he noticed that he had a washcloth stuck up the sleeve of his sweatshirt. My kids are very observant, apparently.

But it got me wondering if that is what happened to all the socks around here? Maybe we are all walking around with several socks stuck in various pieces of clothing and not noticing? I'm also now sure that I must have 50 pounds of socks stuck inside my clothes. That would definitely explain a lot.

I have a sock basket. I only put socks in there when I can't find the match. And there they wait until I can locate their sole mate. Oh, come on, that was begging to be said.

I don't plan on giving the kids more laundry responsibility then they currently have because I'm territorial. I'd rather assign them other chores. It's not like I can have them do everything. At least that's what we tell people.