why does that happen every week, I ask you?
I just feel the need to point out what a perfect mother I am. I care deeply about my family's nutritional intake and ponder deeply on a daily basis what wholesome, organic, from-scratch meals I can serve them.
I don't go on shop-a-thons, spend almost $1000 dollars on groceries with a crazy plan to mass cook meals.
I don't come home, have my
I would never feel pressured to follow through with my highly
Part of the preparation plan would definitely not include staying up two different nights
Because I plan ahead like
I certainly wouldn't have threatened my husband and demanded that he had better not come home at all unless he had another freezer with him. I definitely wouldn't take out my lack of planning on him
Nothing scares this superchick. Not.one.thing.
When reaching out the french doors for a plug in
You wouldn't have found me screaming, loosing my balance and doing a face plant on the dirty dirt either. I have more style that a cat and always land on my feet.
When my little piggy toe
And since we are on the
I don't care if little buggy-looking bugs have the misplaced assumption that underneath the handle is a prime piece of real estate. I fear them not.
So, when an alarmed bug flew out from under the handle I most certainly wouldn't have screamed.
And I most certainly would have never, ever ripped my hand back from the handle with enough force to accidentally fling my keys all the way across the road.
Thank goodness no one was looking...
Or that they took pity on "not me" and didn't laugh loud enough for me to hear.