Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Levi's adoption

This is his "say cheese" face
Way back when...

Levi's adoption-

I had been around babies before Levi. My own babies, of course, babies in my daycare, and nieces and nephews. Levi was different. He did some things there were different...and heartbreaking. I don't say that to be dramatic, but sometimes I would hold him and cry. Cry...because it was just so unfair. Unfair that he should have to suffer for something that was not his fault, and unfair because it was so preventable.

He would shake and twitch. He had aversion to movement, either swaying side to side in my arms or using the swing. He would shriek (can't think of a better word for it) out in his sleep. He had lower body stiffness, there are not any cute pix of him chewing on his toes because he wasn't able to get them anywhere near his mouth. His poop smelled like chemicals and it would make his bottom bleed. He still bears scars from the boils that would erupt all over his sweet little bum. The symptom that stuck around the longest was the snot. Sticky, thick snot that was like rubber cement. We were told that it was his body's way of getting rid of the junk that he had been exposed to.

When we met with our adoption worker for the first time, she laid it all out for us. Things that could still show up as he grew and developed, parts of his brain that could still show damage because drugs were used during crucial parts of his development. I broke down and sobbed shamelessly. It was just so upsetting to hear that my sweet, perfect son could have problems that would plague him for life. And upsetting because, even though my heart yearned for his path to be perfect, I couldn't control it and make the "what-if's" disappear.

I'm not going to go into details about Levi's biomom, or the reasons that her birth kids ended up being taken from her. We love her parents and her siblings and out of respect for them, I will refrain. But I will say that I have been angry, I still am at times, as she continues to slow up the finalization of his adoption. She has never made a choice that was in his best interest, not one time, and I don't know if she is capable.

Part of the reason that we are not final has to do with the system. The overloaded, makes no sense at times, crazy, lengthy, screwed-up system. We are at the mercy of the system. Luckily, Levi, is too young to know that we are not final...yet. We are certain that the day will come.

Here is the abbreviated version of the adoption so far-

*In the 8? years prior, biomom has been involved with DHS and has had her five other children taken and adopted by family members*
Levi born while biomom is in jail
Levi transported 2 hours each way for visits
Biomom out of jail and required to travel for visits
Biomom quits coming to visits
Biomom rejailed
Levi's plan changed to adoption
Biomom released from jail and disappeared
State starts absent parent search
***months later***
Biomom resurfaces back in jail
Biomom refuses to sign termination of parental rights papers
State takes biomom to court to take away rights
Sept 08 Judge does not even deliberate before taking away rights
Nov 08 Biomom files appeal
Apr 09 Appeal heard

I got a call from the AAG (Assistant Attorney General) yesterday and he informed me that arguments went really well. He said that it is "highly unusual" that anyone besides the attorneys are present during arguments. However, biomom showed up along with her entourage *insert eye roll*. I asked the AAG how long until the appeals court makes a decision and he said "they will take as long as they damn well want to". He then said that he was optimistic that we would hear something within a couple of months.

I said

What's that? No, I meant for that to be blank. That is where my jaw dropped open, came unhinged and rolled off down the floor.

Two more months for a decision on a "cut and dry", "slam-dunk" case is optimistic? What is there to think about?

In the meantime, to him, and us, he is home. That is what really matters. So, as usual, we wait...


rachel said...

Oh gosh, Beck. This must be so hard. What a lucky little fella Levi is to have you. Keep up the good work. He's right where he's supposed to be.

Ginger said...

You are so right when you say that thankfully Levi is too young to know that he is not "final". He is truly blessed to be HOME! Please try to remember that when you get handed all the junk from the state.