First let me tell you that I really am Wonderwoman. I fear nothing
When out walking with my husband, it was not me that froze in fear when hearing a dog coming. Having a dog chase me when I was 8 years old would not scar me for life because that would show weakness and I am not weak.
I did not utter a naughty word and jump behind my husband, pinching his skin as I frantically grabbed his shirt to more effectively hold my human shield in place.
Because I am uber brave, it was not me that peeked out from behind my husband to watch the dog
I certainly wouldn't have felt the least bit embarrassed to find out that the very old, very fat dog was just nicely checking to see if we had something for him to eat. I certainly can tell the difference between an attack dog and an old grey muzzled fat one.
I am a wonderful driver. I scoff at the obvious low IQ that other drivers flaunt on a daily basis. I got 100% on my drivers test and drive with perfection everyday.
It was not me that failed to notice that the garage door was not fully up before putting the van into reverse. My hearing is very good
Because I pay the utmost attention to what I am doing while driving I would have immediately stepped on the brakes. I would not have backed the van up into the garage door.
Upon hearing the collision of van vs. garage door I would not have wondered what the heck was going on. Theories of possible reasons for the crash
Upon arriving home, it was not me that didn't pull the
It would not have been my eyes that widened in shock upon hearing the gate
When the kids asked "what was that" I also wouldn't have
And in the spirit of "Not Me Monday" it's going to be "not you" that better not tell my "not husband" about the van incident(s).
Because, if you do, like Hannah says...
"You're not my buddy anymore!"